deadjosey:

deadjosey:

deadjosey:

this guy was watching Shrek (the movie series) with me and now he’s educating himself how precious is that.

he keeps asking me all these questions about aspects of Shrek and he’s like “so basically it’s about letting Ogre’s do what they want without being put down” and I was like yea and he was like “oh okay that’s so simple why isn’t everyone Shrek” it’s precious.

update: I banged him

deadjosey:

deadjosey:

deadjosey:

this guy was watching Shrek (the movie series) with me and now he’s educating himself how precious is that.

he keeps asking me all these questions about aspects of Shrek and he’s like “so basically it’s about letting Ogre’s do what they want without being put down” and I was like yea and he was like “oh okay that’s so simple why isn’t everyone Shrek” it’s precious.

update: I banged him

Kiss her. Slowly, take your time, there’s no place you’d rather be. Kiss her but not like you’re waiting for something else, like your hands beneath her shirt or her skirt or tangled up in her bra straps. Nothing like that. Kiss her like you’ve forgotten any other mouth that your mouth has ever touched. Kiss her with a curious childish delight. Laugh into her mouth, inhale her sighs. Kiss her until she moans. Kiss her with her face in your hands. Or your hands in her hair. Or pulling her closer at the waist. Kiss her like you want to take her dancing. Like you want to spin her into an open arena and watch her look at you like you’re the brightest thing she’s ever seen. Kiss her like she’s the brightest thing you’ve ever seen. Take your time. Kiss her like the first and only piece of chocolate you’re ever going to taste. Kiss her until she forgets how to count. Kiss her stupid. Kiss her silent. Come away, ask her what 2+2 is and listen to her say your name in answer.
Azra.T, ”This Is How You Keep Her” (via petrichour)

barackfuckingobama:

xinjay:

itsjustafangirlthing:

tundrakatiebean:

spooknessinsalvation:

thisbookofshadows:

barackfuckingobama:

so i bought this ring that has a little hinge and it opens up to a tiny secret box hidden under the gem and my mom told me that women used to put poison in it and then SLIP POISON INTO PEOPLES DRINKS and i was like NUH UH THIS CANT BE REAL and i just googled it and guys this is like a real thing

people are psycho

I have a few of those. I think they’re really neat!

classiest way to poison someone hands down

That’s how it all goes down in Hamlet, poison ring.

I’ve always, always wanted one of these because I have pure peppermint liquid that can ruin a drink with one drop and just kargfksernjskrn I want one.

wait why does everyone want one of these

what are all of you people planning

i regret making this post because i have been getting the creepiest reblogs in the universe seriously tumblr u scary

Instagram Tweets by @junkiejulie_